Dr John Smith, DADA Teacher
by Jed Rhodes
Summary: Harry Potter crossover. The TARDIS lands at Hogwarts, and the Doctor finds himself taking on the teaching post of defence against the dark arts... and an old friend who's not himself. AU OOTP.
1. Applicant For a jinxed Job

**The Face of Boe:** _I have seen so much, perhaps too much. I am the last of my kind, as you are the last of yours, Doctor._

**The Doctor:** _That's why we have to survive, both of us. Don't go._

**The Face of Boe: **_I must, but know this, Time Lord: You are not alone._

**From Gridlock.**

--  
The Doctor ran around the console, frantically pressing buttons. Don't Stop Me Now, ( the Queen version, thank Rassilon), was playing in the background. The thing was, the Doctor wasn't driving the TARDIS, he was trying to stop it. He knew it was hopeless – the TARDIS wanted to go somewhere, and nothing - not rain, sleet, snow, atomic bomb, end of the world, end of the universe, start of the next - would stop it now.

"No, no, no, no, no!" he yelled. "Where are we going?! Stop, please! STOOOOOOOP!!"

It was no use, he knew. The TARDIS slowed down over it's selected destination, and slowly materialised.

The Doctor sighed. She had been getting increasingly temperamental, perhaps because hwe had been getting increasingly grumpy. But then, he had a right to be grumpy! Rose had gone, and Donna had declined top come with him in the TARDIS, leaving him utterly alone. As always, he thought bitterly.

"Where have we ended up this time, old girl?" he said softly to the TARDIS.

He shook his head. Trying to predict the TARDIS's actions was like trying to predict what he would look like next time he regenerated - pointless and impossible.

"We're not staying. We're really, really not staying", he said, pulling the lever to send them back on their way.

The TARDIS, however, steadfastly refused to move. The Doctor tried talking to it, threatening it, and bashing the console with a hammer, but it just wouldn't work. She wasn't going anywhere.

The Doctor sighed. Oh for the days when he could have traded her in for a type 57...

"Oh well. Might as well get it over with..."

He picked his long coat off the wall, and walked out of the door, to face whatever might be out there.

--

Idyllic beauty. That was what was out there.

The Doctor stood on the edge of a great lake, which glinted in the evening light. He stared around him. A massive castle stood towering nearby, with lights in the windows, tall, beautiful.

The Doctor smiled. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Certainly, there were no Dalek invasions, no Cybermen plots, no Sontarans, and no Master...

Well. Of course there was no Master.

"Oi!" came a booming voice from behind him, shocking him out of his reverie.

The Doctor turned, hoping to God it wasn't a cliched farmhand with a shotgun like in the films.

Suffice to say, it wasn't.

It was a massive man in a long coat, aiming a pink umbrella at him threateningly.

"Who are ya?" he yelled, brandishing the umbrella like a weapon, keeping the point trained on the Doctors nose.

"I'm the Doctor", replied the Doctor, staring cross eyed at the point of the umbrella.

"Doctor who?" asked the giant, puzzled.

The Doctor grinned at him. Oh, the times he had heard that...

"Everyone says that," he said. "I'm just the Doctor."

"Yer here for the job interview?" said the giant, still brandishing the umbrella.

"Yes!" said the Doctor suddenly, struck by inspiration. "I'm here for the job interview, and I got lost..."

The giant smiled, all trace of hostility vanishing from his features.

"Well then!" he boomed. "Why didn't you say so? I'll guide you up. Oh!" he added suddenly, as if he had forgotten something drastically important. "I forgot to introduce myself. Rubeus Hagrid is my name, gamekeeper and Care of Magical Creatures teacher."

He smiled, and turned back to the castle.

"Now, if you'll just follow me, I'll have you to Professor Dumbledore's office in a jiffee..."

The Doctor shrugged to himself. 'No harm in going for a job interview, I suppose', he thought.

Then it struck him.

Magical creatures? Oh, this sounded good.

He followed Hagrid up to the castle.

--

He entered the office of Professor Dumbledore.

"Ah, excellent, how nice to see you!" said Dumbledore as the Doctor entered. He was standing, looking out the window. He was a tall man, with long silver hair and a longer silver beard, with little half moon specs hanging on his nose.

"Nice to be welcomed", replied the Doctor, happily.

"Well, I know that you want to get on," said Dumbledore, sitting down, "you do have a whole school year to plan for, so I won't keep you..."

The Doctor blanched. What?

"Hang on, I thought this was an interview!" he said, bemused, bewildered, befuddled, and a whole load of other be- words.

"Well, it was," said Dumbledore, "but since no one else has even considered the job, then you get it by default."

"How do you know I'm good enough for the job?" asked the Doctor, now rather worried.

Dumbledore stopped for a second, as if it had never occured to him.

"You know, that is actually a good point," he said. "Oh well, I'm sure you know what you're doing. You wouldn't have applied if you didn't, after all!"

The Doctor laughed nervously.

"Well, it's something of an honour, I just expected it to be difficult to get..."

"Well, when you're the only applicant, it isn't," replied Dumbledore. "What's your name, might I ask?"

"Er..." stammered the Doctor, still stunned, "Smith. Dr John Smith."

"Smith. Splendid," smiled Dumbledore. "Anyway, I'll let you get on."

The Doctor walked out, and headed for the grounds, hoping that he could deal with the challenge presented to him...

He didn't hear Dumbledore murmur the words, "hello again, Doctor."

--

The Doctor read furiously. He had now read, by his reckoning, one hundred and twenty five books on magic.  
It was a fascinating subject, you could be sure of it. Absolutely fascinating. But how was he supposed to teach defence against the dark arts?

Well, he thought to himself, if the past nine hundred years have tought me anything, it's that improvisation is always your best option.

So he got reading.

--


	2. psionic Science and the Doctor's Lives

THREE WEEKS LATER...

"And of course, that tradition for the start of term, the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher!" said Dumbledore.

A youngish man in a light blue suit stood, to the routine applause of the students and staff.

The Doctor.

"This is Dr John Smith, and he'll be taking over the job", continued Dumbledore. "I expect you to show him every courtesy."

The Doctor stood up a couple of seconds longer, waving a bit, then sat down, a grin like the cheshire cats on his face.

He thought about everything that had happened since he had got the job, that lovely August evening...

--

He had discovered about magic. Being the Doctor, he'd had to find out what it _really_ was, so he'd done some digging. The results of that research had fascinated him, and he'd just had to share it.

And, he'd reasoned, a classroom would be the perfect place. After all, what cold he teach them about defending themselves? But the origins of magic...

It was only then of course, that he'd found out what had happened to the last four DADA teachers.

"One year," he had said to Dumbledore, "then I'm gone. I'm fond of this body, so I really wouldn't want to lose it, I don't like suitcases - at least, I don't like the idea of living in one, I've had amnesia and it's overrated, and I'd rather not be outed as anything embarrasing."

"Of course," Dumbledore had replied amicably. "If that is what you feel is best, I cannot hinder you."

"Well, good," the Doctor had said. "See that you don't."

And so here he was, about to teach his first class.

He couldn't wait.

--

Harry Potter walked into the DADA classroom, followed by Ron and Hermione. It was their first DADA lesson of the fith year, and he was hoping that the new guy came close to the brilliance matched by the last two teachers.

Yes, Moody had been an imposter, but he had nonetheless been an interesting teacher. This new bloke would have to be really something to top him.

The new teacher was standing quite calmly, waiting for everyone to arrive, a smile on his face.

When they had all sat down, he began.

"Lets be quite honest with ourselves here," he said, his voice casual. "Does anyone here know where magic came from, originally?"

Not even Hermione put her hand up to that question, which elicited shock all by itself.

Dr Smith grinned, making everyone in the room relax.

"Good job I do then!" he said. "Lets crack on, I've got to cover ten thousand years in sixty minutes, not easy, you know..."

"Hang on," said Harry, raising his hand. "Aren't we going to be learning defence spells?"

Dr Smith grinned again, seemingly not annoyed by the interruption.

"Well, what's the point in knowing any magic, if you don't actually know where it came from?" he asked, and it seemed quite logical.

He sat down. Harry decided to look around the room. Nothing much had changed, except that a big blue box was now standing in the corner.

"Right then," said the Doctor, using his statesman voice. "It all begins with a form of... magical creature, long since extinct, called the Daemons."

He looked hard at them all. Hermione was howing a flicker of recognition at the name, which didn't surprise him - after all, he had read every book in the library, and there was more than one mention of the Daemons in them.

"The Daemons were a race of beings that were enormously powerful, able to alter matter, destroy worlds, change their own size, and generally lots of flashy, impressive stuff like that. They did this using Psionic Energy, which was so powerful that, to someone like you or I, it would almost seem like magic."

He took a breath, noting that the kids were paying rapt attention. Good.

"Unfortunately, they were prone to arguments. Not to mention civil wars, galctic conflicts and general stuff like that. Also, they were quite easy to kill, despite their power - heck, if you showed a bit of compassion or self sacrifice, they blew up, taking lovely little village churches with them. And so they all died."

He took another breath. The kids looked fascinated - well most of them did.

"One Daemon however, survived the slaughter. Azal. He came to this Earth, and guided your ancestors to a state of higher evolution. What happened was, some of his Psionic power bled out, and infected a single small tribe of humans, struggling to survive. Suddenly, they were able to perform mighty magical feats, and this caused some upset. Eventually, by the time of the Romans, humanity had figured out how to control magic, creating words for all the different spells, and that has led us, after thousands of years..."

He paused for dramatic effect –

"... to now," he finished.

He smiled.

"Technically speaking, you don't need flashy words, or magic wands. Only willpower and concentration - that's the point of non - verbal magic, which doubtless you'll be studying next year."

He stood up again, and wrote on the blackboard as he spoke his next words.

"Now then, I want you to take notes on that little story," he said. "If you can't remember a detail, just ask me."

Hermione raised her hand, and Dr Smith gestured to let her speak.

"Sir, how do you know all this?" she asked.

"I know because everyone that has been anywhere outside this solar system knows," he replied.

Everyone burst into laughter, apart from Hermione, who looked shocked, but not amused.

"Outside the solar system?" she said, surprised and just a little bit sceptical.

"Yes," the Doctor replied. "Outside the solar system."

The class stopped laughing. Everyone looked at him again now, with a ixture of derision (from the slytherins) and respect (from everyone else).

Just for a moment, he looked incredibly old, incredibly wise, and incredibly sad. Harry looked hard at him, and he seemed to change... one moment an old man, the next a dandy, the next a titan with wild hair and wilder eyes, the next a man in a leather coat, and the next just a the young man he was...

Everyone slowly got to work on the essay he set them. nobody finished, though, not even Hermione.

The bell rang to signal the end of the lesson.

"Well, that's the end of the lesson," said the Doctor. "For next time, I want a full two page essay on the story I told you. See you all later."

The class left.

"What a weirdo..." said Ron.

"I found it quite fascinating," countered Hermione. "I've read about the Daemons somewhere before..."

Harry was silent.

"You alright mate?" asked Ron.

"No..." he said. "Did you see the old man, and the bloke in the leather jacket?"

The others looked at him.

"When?" asked Hermione at last.

"Just now..." replied Harry. "They were all part of Dr Smith somehow..."

"Well, I didn't," said Ron.

"I didn't either," said Hermione, "but I think we should perhaps keep an eye on him."

--

The Doctor smiled to himself, then walked up to the TARDIS.

"Ah, old girl... you know, I'm actually starting to enjoy this."

He put his hand on the box. The vibration was still there. She still worked. But however hard he tried, he couldn't get her to go anywhere...

He pulled his hand away.

"But why did we come here in the first place?" he asked, more to himself than to the TARDIS.

The box remained impassive.

"Oh fine," said the Doctor. "Be like that then. But we're leaving at the end of term."


	3. Substitutiary Locomotion

THREE WEEKS LATER...

"Hogwarts High Inquisitor," he said, disgusted. This was not on...

A High Inquisitor had the power to randomly sack people she thought "weren't up to scratch".

The Doctor knew exactly what this was. An attempt to discredit Dumbledore, because he believed that Voldemort had returned. The Doctor knew of Voldemort now, thanks to his research, but had decided early on that it wasn't his fight. After all, these humans had their hero, even if they didn't believe he was their hero. They didn't need a Doctor.

In the three weeks he had been teaching, he'd made his mark on the DADA classroom. A hatstand stood in the corner, with his long coat on it, and his old scarf.

His class of fifth years entered. He had talked them through the origins of magic, and the science of magic, and today's lesson was about magical inheritance.

The students sat down.

"Right," said the Doctor. "Magical inheritance today, everyone, so start thinking blood. Not in a vampire way, mind you."

The entire class sniggered. They appreciated the Doctor's sense of humour, something he was immensely happy about.

Ahem.

The Doctor turned. A short woman in a pink top and matching skirt, holding a heavy duty clipboard, stood in the corner of the classroom.

"Ah hello," he said. "You must be the High Inquisitor, Miss..?"

She gave him a sinister sweet smile.

"My name is Dolores Umbridge, and yes, I am the High Inquisitor."

He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Well, I'm teaching the class about the origins of magic," he said, "so that they better understand it."

Umbridge stopped smiling.

"Did you not get the curriculum books?" she asked, her tone still quite friendly, but with a hint of threat in it.

"Oh yeah!" he replied. "Those. Useless, utterly and totally, so I'm just leaving the students to read them at their leisure. Their year long coursework, if you will."

Umbridge frowned slightly, and scribbled on her clipboard.

"Anyhoo," said the Doctor, focusing back onto the class and ignoring the scribbling, "can anyone tell me what the difference between a 'pure blood' wizard –" he frowned slightly at the phrase, "- and a Muggle born one is?"

Hermione Granger put her hand up instantly. The Doctor liked her, she had an inquiring mind. After her initial sceptiscism, she had blossomed into one of the most open minded people he had ever met. He knew that she was still quite close minded at times, but given time, she'd open.

He might even offer her a place in the TARDIS, when it stopped playing up.

"Yes?" he said, smiling at her.

"A Muggle born wizard has no magic in their family, or has it so far back that it has been diluted. A 'pure blood' –" and here she frowned at the phrase as well, which pleased the Doctor no end, "- is a pure wizard, with no Muggle blood."

"Excellent, exactly right, ten points to Gryffindor," he said. "The reason that certain people are becoming wizards, at random, is that the Psionic power in the atmosphere is still there, in spades. It will tale, by my calculations - ooh," he checked his watch, "two hundred billion years for magic to run out, at this rate?"

AHEM.

The Doctor turned to Umbridge, from whom the coughing had come.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"This is nonsense that you're teaching them," she said. "Dangerous nonsense. If they grow up believing this sort of thing –"

"Then they will have an understanding of their own power, and the danger inherent with it," the Doctor finished coldly, his face showing a mixture of boredom and annoyance.

"What?!" she said, her face red with all the rage she felt. "This is stupid. Your teaching them Muggle stuff – in fact, I've never seen your name on any lists for the school, Dr Smith!"

She walked right up to him, anger and suspiscion marring her already less than perfect features.

"I've never known a Doctor in my life that wasn't a Muggle."

"So what?" he replied, nonchalant. "You want me to prove I can do magic?"

"In layman's terms, yes!" she harrumphed.

The Doctor stood up, steeled himself, and took his wand out.

It was a simple design, with a hair of unicorn lodged within, that he had bought a week after he had come to this world.

He pointed it at the hatstand in the corner, and spoke the words that would cast the spell. He conccentrated with every ounce of his willpower...

"Treguna... mekoides... tracorum, satis dee..."

He grinned at Umbridge, and flicked his wand with a flourish.

"Substitutiary locomotion," he said, grinning.

And the coat came alive.

It hopped over to Umbridge, grabbed her hands in it's sleeves, and pulled her along to invisible music. The kids started clapping along, and the Doctor started singing, the kids backing him up.

"#Treguna Mekoides and Tracorum Satis Dee#" they sang. "Treguna, mekoides and tracorum satis dee..."

"Substitutiary locomotion," the Doctor sang, "it's the power that's far beyond the wildest notion, it's so weird, so feared, yet wonderful to see! Substitutiary locomotion come to me!"

"#Treguna Mekoides and Tracorum Satis Dee#" the kids sang on. Hermione had stopped, however, and frowned. She thought she knew the song from somewhere. The Doctor kept going, while the scarf that was with the coat came alive, and wrapped itself around Umbridges mouth, to stop her from screaming. The Doctor sang on.

"#I don't want locomotiary substitution, or remote intrasitory convolution. Only one precise solution is the key! Substitutiary locomotion it must be. Treguna Mekoides and Tracorum Satis Dee!"

The kids were clapping along, while Umbridge and the coat and scarf spun around and around...

"Substitutiary locomotion, lovely substitutiary locomotion. You've made substututiary history! With Treguna Mekoides and a little help from me!"

"With Treguna Mekoides and Tracorum Satis Dee!" the kids sang. The music kept on going, though...

"Wh -what? Stop this!" Umbridge yelled, as the coat and her careened around.

The Doctor smiled.

"As you wish, Madam Inquisitor!" he said, flicking his wand again. The coat collapsed, taking her down with it.

"How's that for magic?" he asked, as she picked herself up off the floor, angrily.

Umbridge sniffed, scribbled some more, and left, fuming.

'Ooh, scary,' thought the Doctor mockingly.

The Doctor turned back to the classroom.

"Now... where were we?"

--

Sometime later, in the common room, Harry, Ron and Hermione were discussing the lesson.

Harry and Ron laughed as they recounted the dance to themselves. They sang the song to themselves, as Hermiione thought it over.

"The look on Umbridges face!" said Ron after a while. "Priceless!"

Hermione didn't laugh. She was too busy thinking. Where had she heard that spell before...

"What's up with you?" asked Ron, staring at her.

It clicked in her mind where she had heard the spell.

"That was not a real magic spell," she said. "It was a spell from a movie. More specifically, Bedknobs and Broomsticks."

Ron, being from a wizard family, had never heard of TV or movies, but Harry was aghast.

"D'you think he might be a spy from Voldemort?" he said, now very concerned.

"Don't say the name!!" exclaimed Ron.

"Shut up, Ron," said Harry.

"I don't think he's a spy – how would a death eater know about a movie?" said Hermione. "But I think he's not what he claims to be."

She leaned forward, confidentially.

"That box in the corner is the key," she whispered. "If we get into that, we'll find out who he is."

--


	4. Revelation of the Doctor

The three of them sneaked into the DADA classroom, underneath the invisibility cloak. Once inside, Hermione came out from under the cloak.

"Alright, I'll open the box", said Hermione softly, walking up to it.

She used her wand - the alohamora - on it, but it had no effect. She did so for several minutes, until finally she gave up.

"It's not working!!" she hissed at the boys.

Before they could answer, the door opened behind her.

"Hello," said Dr Smith, standing in the doorway of the box.

Hermione stepped back, shocked. She tried to regain her composure.

"Hello sir, I was just –"

"Trying to get into the box," he said, smiling, as if it didn't matter in the slightest that she had been attempting breaking and entering. "I don't blame you. To be honest, I was waiting for somebody to catch on, and I always thought it would be you. I assume Harry and Ron are nearby?"

The other two came out from beneath the cloak, guilty looks plastered on their faces.

"Hello sir," they said together.

He grinned.

"Oh, stop looking so guilty. No harm done, after all..."

He seemed to consider for a moment, then stepped aside, allowing them access to the Box.

"You'd better come inside."

They stepped into the box, and they stood there gaping for a moment. It was large, overgrown with coral, green tinted, with roundels on the walls and a mushroom shaped console in the centre.

"Wow," said Ron, which just about summed up how Harry felt as well.

"It's just bigger on the inside, what are you wowing for?" said Hermione.

The Doctor laughed at that, before turning to a mushroom shaped console in the centre of the room.

"Now then," he whispered, as if talking to the console, "are you absolutely sure you won't move? Please? Pretty please with edible ball bearings on top?"

"Who are you talking to?" asked Harry, slightly bemused by this.

"The TARDIS, if only she were listening," the Doctor responded.

"What's the TARDIS?" asked Ron.

The Doctor gestured all around them, his arms spread wide.

"This," he said simply.

He sat down on a nearby chair.

"Where to begin?" he mused to himself, then he stared each of them in the eye.

"This is going to sound insane," he said.

"We can deal with insane," Harry assured him.

"I am a Time Lord. I travel around the universe in this, my TARDIS, and I've gotten stuck. She's partially alive, so she must be in a mood."

He said all that very quickly. He looked at them each in turn.

"With me so far?"

Harry was looking puzzled, Ron had a look of sheer uncomprehending blankness, and Hermione was nodding, seemingly the only one who understood.

"I've read legends about a man called the Doctor, who travelled in a blue box..." she said slowly. "It says that he's saved the world countless times."

The Doctor grinned.

"Well, maybe not countless times..."

"How do you do magic, when you're a Muggle?" asked Harry, interested in that paticular part of the Doctor's facade.

"Simple really," he replied. "I'm not a Muggle, I'm a Time Lord. We had immense mental powers, and even now I'm still pretty formidable in a mental fight. I just have to concentrate REALLY hard. There's enough of that Psionic energy in the air so that I can channel it, but I'm not very powerful."

He grinned.

"Like I said, it only takes willpower - something I've got buckets of."

"So you're not staying?" asked Hermione, changing the subject.

"Nope," he replied. "I have a date with the universe. The TARDIS wants me to do something, but I just don't know what."

He looked at the console, and sighed.

"Tempremental old thing. She's always doing this sort of thing, when I think about it. Trying so hard to help me, and just annoying me in the process."

He turned to them, his gface suddenly quizzical.

"Anyway, you aren't meant to be out here, are you?"

They exchanged glances.

"Not really," admitted Harry.

"Then back to your common room!" shouted the Doctor. "Go on, scat!"

"One last thing," said Harry. "When I saw you in that first lesson, you sort of changed into other people..."

The Doctor looked at him, wonder in his eyes.

"Deep perception. You see the men I was. A by product of the Psionic energy that you have in your bloodstream. I thought it was just a theory, but apparently it works... only one wizard in a thousand has the deep perception!"

He gave Harry a slightly awed look.

"Amazing... anyway! Scat!"

He ushered them out, and shut the door on them.

The next evening, in the common room, they were discussing the Doctor.

"The 'men he was'? What does that mean?" asked Ron, confused by that singularly odd statement.

"What I've heard of the Time Lords - bearing in mind this is all hearsay from centuries ago - is that when they die, they come back..." Hermione said.

"Reincarnation?!" exclaimed Harry. "That isn't possible - is it?"

"Well, Pheonix's can do it," she shrugged. "So maybe Time Lords can too..."

"Sounds weird," muttered Ron, "but then again, everything about the Doctor is weird."

"One point remains," said Hermione, sitting back carefully, as if she was about to say something very important. "He can't teach us any defence, no matter what he can, and the books Umbridge gave him aren't any better, so we need to find a third option."

"What?" asked Harry, wondering what this third option was going to be.

As Hermione spoke, Harry's eyes widened. She couldn't be suggesting what Harry thought she was suggesting...

And near the fire, on that evening, the DA was born...


	5. Sadistic and Insane

SOME TIME LATER…

The Doctor was standing in Dumbledore's office, along with Harry Potter, Minerva McGonagall, Umbridge and the minister for magic, Cornelius Fudge. The Doctor had decided that this man was a typical politician - stupid, arrogant, greedy and vain - but that if the wizarding world wanted him, then they could have him. He wasn't overthrowing anyone else in this country - at least, not in this incarnation.

"This is clearly a breach of Hogwarts rules!" shouted Umbridge. "I would suggest the expulsion of Potter, and putting most of the rest in detention for the rest of the school year…"

The Doctor sighed. Harry had started a Defence Club (and called it Dumbledores Army - political rallism! Magnificent!) but since this was against Umbridges rules (Educational Decrees she called them, stupidest name he'd ever heard...) he was now in serious trouble.

"And yet," said Dumbledore quietly, yet somehow with more power in his voice than the shouting woman, "we do not know the DADA teachers opinion on the matter. Dr Smith?"

The Doctor straightened, and put on his very best 'teacher' voice. He wanted to help Harry as much as he could - the kid had lived a hard life, he didn't deserve all this trouble.

"It seems to me," he said, "that this has been going on for some time… possibly since before the creation of the post of high inquisitor, and certainly before your educational decrees."

He tilted his head, and looked at Harry straight in the eye.

"However, that doesn't excuse the fact that this was a rule breaking incident. I would suggest one month detention for Potter, and a single session for all the others."

He mouthed 'sorry' to Harry at this point.

'It's OK' mouthed Harry back.

Then Umbridge pulled her trump card - a crumpled piece of paper.

"Then there was this!" she yelled, triumph shrieking in her voice.

A parchment with the words 'Dumbledore's army' written on them.

Dumbledore smiled, and the Doctor watched his expression become resolute.

And suddenly, he realised…

Dumbledore meant to sacrifice himself. Before the Doctor said anything, Dumbledore confessed to every crime the minister wanted him to.

The Doctor put his hand on Dumbledore's shoulder.

"You don't have to do this," he said.

Dumbledore smiled, and turned to the minister for magic, who stared at him in a mixture of happyness and anger.

"You're under arrest!" he shouted. "Take him!"

Dumbledore smiled over the top of his glasses.

"I think that you labour under the impression that I'm going to - oh what's the phrase - come quietly? I'm very much afraid I shall not."

He flicked his wand. There was a silver light, and the Doctor knew no more…

--

The Doctor woke up in the hospital wing.

"You were asleep for some time," said Madam Pomfrey. "I've never seen anyone react so badly to a stunning spell."

"Weak constitution," replied the Doctor.

He sat up, got up, and walked out.

Weak constitution his hairy yellow behind... he reacted differently to the stunner because he was alien, and he knew it. He'd have to be careful.

--

It was another day, another lesson. The Doctor was teaching the kids of fifth year about the science of Apparation, which worked something like the TARDIS, only much faster (he had neglected to mention the TARDIS to the class of course).

He looked up at Harry, who was sitting at the front, when he saw something that bothered him. Something that made his blood run cold.

At the end of class, he asked Harry to stay behind.

"Show me your hands," he said.

Harry did so. Engraved on the back of his right hand were, shining white, the words 'I will not break the rules'.

"Who did this?" asked the Doctor, though he already knew.

"Umbridge," replied Harry.

The Doctor nodded, and sent Harry on his way.

--

"Slicing his hand open. I'll admit, I've met teachers who treat their students worse, but they had the excuse that it was for a purpose, that they had a REASON."

Umbridge looked up, as the Doctor entered her office. She smiled sweetly, but his expression, one of cold hatred, made her quite nervous.

"But slicing Harry's HAND open –"

"A logical lesson," countered Umbridge quietly. "If he associates rule breaking with pain, he won't break the rules."

"He started a CLUB!" yelled the Doctor, allowing his furt to show through. "Hardly good reason to mutilate his hand!"

"'Mutilate his hand,'" said Umbridge in a sing song voice. "I gave him lines to write, and he wrote them."

She showed him the quill, the special quill.

"A device that teaches a moral message," she said. "Words have their price. And what sort of punishment is WRITING anyway?!"

The Doctor stared at her, shocked beyond belief that this woman was here, at a school, with _children_ and not at a mental institute in a locked padded cell.

"You are totally insane," he said at last, calmly, horror struck.

"I'm also in charge of this school," she said, matter of factly.

He stared for a moment more, then turned and walked out of the room.

"Don't anger me, Dr Smith," Umbridge called after him.

The Doctor turned to stare at her. Images of Daleks, Cybermen, Gelth, Nestenes and a Thousand others flowed through his mind like a bad film.

"No Umbridge," he said calmly. "You don't anger _me_."

--

"What?" said Minerva McGonagall, aghast.

"You heard," said the Doctor shortly. "She sliced his hand open."

McGonagall sat down, shocked by this revalation. She had always thought Umbridge a little strict, but this was...

"But… why?" she said at last.

"She's a sadist," the Doctor sighed. "Utterly insane."

"What do we do?" asked McGonagall.

"We can do nothing," said the Doctor. "Just watch yourself," he continued. "She's not the sort of person you'd want to cross."

He walked out of the staff room, and smiled when he was sure that McGonagall couldn't see him. Soon she was going to rally the staff in a quiet protest, and subtelly undermine Umbridges authority.

Magnificent.


	6. Y ou A re N ot A lone

I remain…

Alive, but not whole. They have reduced me to a glorified grunt, a soldier in their war. I will get my revenge on them.

The Cruciform… the Daleks have taken it! That's impossible...

By Rassilon himself. With that weapon, they could...

I must run, hide. I can never let them find me…

Where can I hide, though? What place can possibly hide me from the power of the Daleks? They will soon be the masters of time...

Oh yes...

The Chameleon Arch.

I will become human… hide somewhere the Daleks would never think to look.

The god will live among the insects...

--

I awake…

I'm unsure as to where I am… where I am…

A castle… a huge castle…

I go towards it, alone and despairing.

My name is – my name is – Yana, I think… why do I not know?

And all I hear is, deep in my head, the sound of drums playing…

The castle is called Hogwarts. Hogwarts. Yes, that's it, the famous magical institute... magical... magic doesn't exist, does it?

Do I work here? Do I want to? Do I really? What is wrong with me, that my mind is in such a blur...? What has...?

I thought it was the year one hundred trillion, and that I was a Professor...

I thought that I would save the human race...

But no, that must have been a dream, mustn't it? Yes, I must have dreamt it... it's all a blur…

Oh yes, that's right. Now I remember. I'm Yana, a travelling wizard who's decided to visit Hogwarts to see if it's as good as the hype makes it, and see if I can't get a job here.

It all seems so simple, doesn't it? I wonder why I couldn't remember why I was here... that dream... I might have been befuddled...

I must say, I don't have much on me, I must have been more befuddled than I thought... wand, clothes, fob watch - it's broken, isn't that just my luck? Repair charms were never my strong point... and what am I wearing? Very muggle... edwardian, I think they call it... I like it though, makes me distinctive...

Time to go see this place for myself...


	7. Hapyness, Misery and Drums

Once more, with feeling!!

I don't own HP, and I don't own DW. There. Said it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yana. my name is Yana."

Umbridge shook his hand.

"Lovely to meet you," she said. "I am Professor Umbridge, headmistress of this school."

Yana shook her hand, but his face betrayed a moments puzzlement.

"Forgive me, professor, but the last I heard, Albus Dumbledore was head_master."_

The emphasis he put on the word _master _made Umbrdge shiver slightly. "He was," she said, "but he was replaced by me when he turned traitor against the ministry."

Yana smiled.

"I take it from your unhappiness that he... eluded capture?"

"Yes," glowered Umbridge, looking more and more like a toad.

"I thought so," Yana said, quiet triumph in his voice. "Dumbledore always was a slippery customer. I remember one time when I tried to harness the power of Veela magic, he -"

Yana stopped talking.

"What did I just say?" he asked, bemused.

"Something about harnessing Veela magic," Umbridge replied, equally befuddled.

"I must be going doolally," he said, "but I'm sure I've never done any such thing..."

Umbridge waved her hand, brushing the incident aside.

"I would like to offer you a job, Yana..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Great Hall.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," Umbridge was saying, "I take great pleasure in introducing your new divination teacher, Professor Yana!"

At the far end of the staff table, an oldish man in edwardian apparel stood, bowed, and sat back down again.

"What about Firenze?" came a voice from the Gryffindor table. Parvati Patel was standijng on her feet, a look of utter outrage evident on her face.

Umbridge frowned.

"Detention, Ms Patel. Firenze - the half breed - has been sacked. And about time."

The Doctor shook his head. This woman was sadistic, insane, and rascist.

Words formed unbidden in his mind.

'You would make a good Dalek.'

He realised, sadly, that that phrase applied to Umbridge perfectly.

* * *

Yet more time passed, and, though he would never have admitted it out loud, the Doctor was enjoying himself now.

Yes, there was Umbridge, but she was being undermined by almost daily practical jokes on a massive scale. The fireworks had been the Doctors favourite.

He had seen them go off, set loose by the Weasley twins, and he just HAD to join in.

Deep in the TARDIS, he found a box of Galactic Glitters, which he had modified, and set off from the grand staircase.

They flew off with a great WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSHHHHHHHH, that startled the students and made Umbridges day even worse, since Galactic Glitters were self replicating and the noise and light lasted for 24 hours approximately. He went back into the DADA classroom, planning for the evening lesson, when Umbridge came into the room.

"You set off some of those fireworks!!" she bellowed.

He ignored her.

"Answer me!!" she screamed.

"You want to watch that temper of yours, Delores," he said coolly. "You'll give yourself a Hernia."

She looked as though she was going to throttle him, but at that point, one of the Galactic Glitters exploded right outside the door.

"You haven't heard the last of this!!" she screeched, as she ran out.

The Doctor smiled. Umbridge didn't have the power or the authority to threaten him, and none of the teachers would help her. Not even Yana, the teacher she had appointed, who the Doctor quickly realised was a good man despite it.

He didn't know why, but the old man seemed familiar.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Professor Yana stood quite calmly, as Harry and Ron entered, a look of severe annoyance on his face.

"You are five minutes late, boys," he said, in a mock stern voice, then he broke into a smile. "but I don't blame you. This is hardly the most interesting or useful subject taught at this school. However, I am assigned to it, so I shall endeavour to teach you somethin -"

He stopped, as a grimace passed over his face.

"Are you alright sir?" asked Harry genuinely concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine, it's just that my head - it's pounding."

**Duh Duh Duh Duuum.**

"Perhaps you should visit the hospital wing," said Parvati. She was cradling her hand slightly, the words 'I shall not interrupt' carved there.

"Certainly not!" Yana said, with a sudden fierceness, real anger on his face. For a moment, he looked like a different person. Far older... far darker... far more -

The moment ended.

"I am touched by your concern, Ms Patel," Professor Yana said, smiling again, "but I'm quite alright. It'll take more then a headache to stop me from teaching."

"Shame," whispered Ron to Harry. yana pretended not to notice.

**Duh Duh Duh Duum.**

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weeks passed.

The happy feeling the Doctor had, the enjoyment, had gone. Fred and George had left, and none of the other jokes were anywhere near as fun or interesting as theirs had been. Hagrid had been rather violently sacked. Both he and Firenze, who'd been living with him, had been forced to flee from Umbridge and co. Even worse, Professor McGonagall had been injured while trying to protect them.

The Doctor was miserable now.

"I hope," he said to the innocuos blue box sitting in the corner, "that what you've brought me here for is worth all this."

The TARDIS said nothing, and the Doctor slumped in his chair. Unable to do anything, angered by Umbridges actions, and uncertain of the TARDIS's motives... it wasn't going well. He fell asleep after a while, only for a knock on the door to wake him up.

"Doctor Smith? It's Professor Yana," came a voice. "Professor Umbridge wants to see us."

"Tell her she can go rot!" yelled the Doctor. He was in no mood for Davros the Tranny tonight.

"This is important. Apparently, Harry Potter and some of his friends broke into her office, and they're being questioned now!"

The Doctor had stood up on 'Harry Potter', and barreled out of the office, nearly knocking Yana over.

"Come on!" he said. "Don't want to keep her royal bossyness waiting..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yana was about to follow, when he heard a voice.

_**"The Box, you fool, the Box!"**_

He turned.

A blue box was standing in a corner of Dr Smiths office.

**_"Go in, you fool, go in! The power you need is within! TAKE IT!!"_**

Yana shook his head. He must be going insane... first sign of madness, hearing voices in your head.

He walked out, and followed Dr Smith.

**Duh Duh Duh Duuum...**


	8. A Stunned Toad, and a Master Revealed

I don't own Doctor Who, I don't own Harry Potter, I wish I owned Star Trek, and I'd rather die then own Cherie Blair.

Anyhoo...

You must have read OOTP to understand what's going on.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor entered Umbridges office, Professor Yana close behind. She was alone, her so called "Inquisitorial Squad" absent from the proceedings, but Six Kids, including Harry Potter (obviously) and Hermione Granger were in there with her.

He looked Umbridge straight in the eye.

"What can I do for you?" he asked. "Not happy with your dictatorship? Punishing people for speaking their minds? The usual mad dictator stuff?"

Umbridge smiled sweetly, ignoring his rudeness.

"Freedom of speech is for muggles, Dr Smith, but that's not why I wanted you here."

Umbridge was smiling like a child with a new toy.

"Dr John Smith, you are fired!!"

The Doctor raised his eyebrow. He wasn't bothered in the slightest, but he felt this might prove to be a very tricky situation if he didn't handle it well enough.

"Mind if I ask why?" he asked politely.

She threw Harry forward.

"They spilled the beans about you, you filthy half breed!" she yelled, ultimate triumph in her voice. "'Time Lord' my arse!"

The Doctor looked at Harry, a quizzical look on his face.

"She made us. She was going to torture us..." said Hermione, from the back of the room.

The Doctor looked up at her. Longbottom, Lovegood, Weasley, his sister, and Harry...

"You've got to help us," Harry whispered through gritted teeth.

the Doctor nodded almost inperceptibly.

"Right!" he yelled, "if that's the case Professor Umbridge, I'll be off. You don't need me here getting in your way..."

"I think not, Doctor," she said, malevolence creeping into her voice. "I believe you have a Time Machine... and the ministry would quite like a full working one. Professor Yana, seize him immediately!"

Yana had been standing there like a baffled party goer, too polite to move off from a conversation that puzzled him, but unable to join in.

"What?" he said, still confused.

"I am your employer you stupid old man," she said, her voice rising, "and I order you to seize Dr Smith immediately!"

On Umbridges words, Yan raised his wand, aimed it at the Doctor...

And stunned her with a quick flick of the wand.

The Doctor stared at him.

"What?" he said at last.

"Can't stand that woman," he explained. "Ghastly temper, and she's remarkably rude. 'Stupid old man' indeed."

The Doctor stood there shocked for a moment, then hugged Yana where he stood.

"You're brilliant! Now then..."

He turned to the kids, a serious expression on his face.

"What did you do to irritate her?"

Harry explained about Sirius being captured at the Department of Mysteries. When he had finished, the Doctor looked thoughtful...

"Right. And what do you want ME to do about it?" he asked at last.

Harry gaped at him, not believing what he had just heard.

"You've got a time machine, haven't you?" he asked, shocked. "You can get us there in time to save Sirius!"

"Not my fight, though," the Doctor replied sadly. "I can't risk knackering the timline... I sympathise a great deal, but..."

"He's the only family I've got!" yelled Harry. "He'll die if I don't save him!"

The Doctor sagged, defeat spreading across his features.

"Oh, I really wish you hadn't said that," he sighed. "Come on then."

He turned on his heel, and led the way to the TARDIS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He opened the door.

"Forgive me for asking," said Professor Yana, "but how are we all going to fit in there?"

The Doctor looked at him, confused.

"You want to come?" he asked at last.

Yana folded his arms.

"If you're taking six students of this school into danger," he said, seriousness the Doctor had never heard there creeping in, "then it is my job as the sole responsible teacher here to protect them. You just got fired. I'm coming, Doctor, whether you like it or not."

The Doctor opened his mouth, thenb closed it, then opened it again, then closed it again.

"If that's what you want to do," he said at last.

He entered the TARDIS, and the others followed. Those who hadn't been in it before did the usual "ooh, ah" routine, but the Doctor didn't care. He pulled a lever, flickd a switch, and suddenly they were off...

The central columm went up and down, and a hideous Vworp Vworp noise filled the room.

The Doctor turned.

"We're off," he said.

'This is what we're here to do, it must be,' he thought to himself. 'The TARDIS wants me to help...'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_"TARDIS... Time Lord... Open the watch!!!"_**

Yana held his head. The voices were getting louder... what did all these things mean? He didn't know, and he didn't want to...

"Are you all right professor Yana?" came a voice from somewhere.

Yana looked up to see the Doctor standing over him. He realised he was sitting on a chair.

"I'm fine, Doctor. It's just... voices, in my head."

The Doctor raised his eyebrows, and his face turned cold.

"What kind of voices?" he asked.

"They're saying things... 'Time Lord', 'TARDIS', things I don't understand..."

The Doctor looked at him right in the eye, as if studying something held deep within it's depths...

"I'd ignore them, Yana," he said at last. "Voices in your head only ever want trouble."

Yana looked at the Doctor.

And unbidden, the voices spoke again.

_**"Kill him!"**_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Doctor stood at the console, thinking what Yana had said over and over. If what he thought was happening to the old man was...

"Hello," a girls voice said.

The Doctor turned, and found himself facing a fourth year girl, who for some reason he didn't know the name of.

"Hello," he said, slightly snappishly. "What can I do for you?"

"The Lord and Master of all things is about to rise," she said, smiling away. "And when he does, the Last of the Fallen Lords of Time will no longer be the last."

"What?" the Doctor squeaked, confused.

The girl said nothing more, but just tapped her fingers against her leg.

Tappity Tap. Tapptiy Tap.

"Who are you?" the Doctor asked, staring at her.

"Luna Lovegood," she replied. The name was familiar...

"Xeno Lovegoods daughter?" the Doctor asked in amazement. She nodded, and walked away.

He slumped against the console. Of all the people to make predictions... Xeno's daughter. 'Oh well,' he thought, 'if she's anything near as weird as her Dad, she's talking nonsense...'

* * *

The entrance to the ministry of magic was silent and deserted.

Until the TARDIS materialised. The trumpeting noise shattered the calm of the dark place, and the people coming out of it a second later didn't help.

The Doctor walked out, followed by his companions, all of whom made rather a lot of noise...

"Lead on," he said to Harry, who was already running ahead of them all.

Harry obliged, and ran even more. Professor Yana stayed by the TARDIS, and no one noticed him. The Doctor was too busy trying to keep up with the kids.

**_"Open the watch! OPEN THE WATCH!!"_**

The voices could not be denied any longer... his head was pounding...

He took the watch out of his pocket, held it up to his face, and opened it...

A golden light streamed over him, casting his eyes into deep shadow. If anyone could have seen them, they would have seen a dark intelligence enbter them - that and madness...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By now, they were in the room of many doors. The Doctor was scanning them with his sonic screwdriver, hoping to find the right one, when he suddenly stopped - a stricken expression hit his face, and he sagged.

"Doctor?" asked Ron. "What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing..." replied the Doctor. "I just... thought I felt something familiar..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He dropped the watch, and stepped on it, all his pent up frustration being focused on the little device. He crushed it under his Edwardian boot heel, and laughed out loud.

He stared at the TARDIS. The Doctor had locked it, sadly, so he would have to find him. Kill him. Rip his body into litle pieces. _Concentrate, _Master.

The Doctor would know him as soon as he saw him, though, so he would have to try something else.

He remembered his own TARDIS, at the grounds of Hogwarts, hidden in the Frobidden Forest. He smiled, and decided to wait.

After all... he was the Master of all, and that included patience...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	9. Last of the Time Lords

* * *

Dolohov raised his wand, pointing it at the strangers back. Mulciber did the same.

Lucius had put them in charge of dealing with any Ministry workers that remained behind, and while he didn't look like a Ministry worker, he was _there_, so he must be.

"Hold it, old man," said Mulciber, putting on his most threatening tone.

The man turned, a slight smile on his face.

"I know you," said Dolohov, completely forgetting himself at the sight of the familiar man.

"Do you?" said the man, in a tone that suggested that he didn't think Dolohov knew him in the slightest.

"I know of you anyway," Dolohov clarified. "You're Yana, the Hogwarts divination teacher."

The man smiled even more, a cold threatening thing that reminded them of their own masters smile...

"Sorry to disappoint you, gentlemen, but that's not who I am at all," he said. "'Yana', was an invention, a disguise so perfect, I forgot who I truly am."

"Then who are you?" said Mulciber, confused. What was this old fool on about?

"I... am... the Master!" the man said, relishing every word. "And you will obey me!"

Dolohov tried to cast a curse, but he found himself staring at the Master's eyes...

"Yes, that's it. You serve a new Master, Death Eater..."

* * *

They had gone to the place where Sirius was meant to be. 

"He's not here, Harry," said the Doctor, "and I don't think he ever was."

Harry wasn't interested. He had found a little glass jar with his name on it.

"Very intelligent of you. At least one of your group is in touch with reality, Potter."

The group turned, to see Lucius Malfoy aiming his wand at them. A dozen or so black masked figures stood behind them.

"Oh, hello," said the Doctor. "Who are you?"

"They're Death Eaters," hissed Ginny from behind him. "Voldemorts servants."

"That ones Lucius Malfoy," muttered Ron, lowering at the Death Eaters.

"Yes, quite right Weasley, you're almost as smart as your father," Lucius Malfoy said. "Mind you, that's not saying a great deal."

The Doctor, who had been grinning slightly, stopped and faced Malfoy again.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice a degree or so colder.

"I'm looking for a prophecy," replied Malfoy. "_That_ prophecy, specifically."

"Prophecy?" said the Doctor, slightly confused.

"Yes. Prophecy."

The Doctor stared for a minute, then laughed.

"Oh my stars, that's rich," he said, barely keeping himself standing he was laughing so much.

Malfoy stared at him. Some lunatic awas laughin - that was not something he was used to...

"But seriously, now," the Doctor said grinning. "there's no accurate way to tell the future. It's shifting, ever changing, like a river. There are countless Parallels, countless different realities. The Future is never certain, Malfoy."

Malfoy looked slightly worried. The Doctor turned to the kids, and said "cover your ears."

Then the Doctor raised his hand, the sonic screwdriver extended, and pressed a button.

A horrible screeching noise filled the ears of the Death Eaters, and the Doctor and the others escaped during the confusion.

"Find them!" screamed Malfoy, infuriated beyond anyones guess. "Find them, and GET THAT PROPHECY!!!!"

* * *

The Doctor led them into the entrance hall. He knew exactly which door in the spinning door room to take, because he could sense the TARDIS. They ran up to it, when Professor Yana stepped out from behind it. 

"Professor Yana, I was wondering where you'd gotten to," said the Doctor quickly, not even acknowledging the old man properly. "Now look, we've got to get out of here!"

But Harry was staring at the Professor.

It was like when he saw the Doctor transform into different people. He saw a man with a goatee, in a dark suit, and another man in a leather coat...

"Doctor, that's not Yana," said Harry.

The Doctor turned to him. He hoped that Harry hadn't just said that, but by the boys face he knew he had...

"What d'you mean, 'not Yana'?" he asked, though in his hearts he knew.

He turned back to Yana, who smiled coldly.

"Deep perception," said the Doctor, "should only work on a Time Lord."

"Guilty as charged," said Yana, his voice cold as his smile.

The Doctor raised a hand to his temple.

Yana did the same, but clicked his fingers as he did so.

Two Death Eaters jumped from behind the TARDIS, aiming their wands at the group.

As the students and the hypnotised men dueled, the Doctor and Yana spoke the same word at the same time.

"**Contact**."

As the unhypnotised Death Eaters entered the room, a blue light began to glow around the two Time Lords, and they started grimacing.

The fighting wizards were joined by the Order of the Pheonix, but even as they arrived, the fighting died down. All eyes were on the fighting Time Lords, who glowed brighter. Then they took their hands away from their temples, and raised them into clawed positions.

Blue lightning darted around them, occasionally darting out of the halo that surrounded them.

Then the light receded, both men sweating, exhausted, drained.

Then the Master walked over to the Doctor, slowly, painfully...

And hugged him.

The two men hugged like brothers fighting on opposite sides of a civil war, who'd been reunited by peace, before they finally broke out of the hug, both smiling, genuine warmth in Yana's eyes.

"I thought you were dead," said the Doctor, tears in his eyes.

"I thought _you_ were dead," said the Master. "I thought they all were."

"Well, we're alive now, both of us. And that's all that -"

The Master suddenly grimaced. Green light surrounded his body, and he collapsed to the ground, his eyes open, shocked...

"NO!!!" the Doctor yelled. The members of the order of the pheonix, who'd by this time rounded up the Death Eaters, were looking not at Yana's body, but at the doorway...

The Doctor turned around to see where the killing curse had come from.

Slits for nose, scarlet eyes, no hair, high cold voice.

"Where's the prophecy?!" demanded Lord Voldemort.


	10. Regeneration, Summoners, and SMITS

**AN: This chapter is told from POV's of various characters.**

* * *

**The Doctor.**

He's dead, he's dead, he's dead, he's dead...

"Answer me! Where's my prophecy?!?!"

I look up. Snake eyes, slitty nose, pale skin, no hair... it can only be him. Voldemort. The man who's fight I wasn't interested in. Well, I'm interested now, you _lack-thar-rondashar!!_

Lootarian swear words. Nothing in English seems to quite fit what he's done to me. Hope you enjoyed life, Voldemort, 'cos it's about to end.

I look down at the Master. Calm, Doctor, calm, maybe he'll regenerate...

That becomes my hope - if he lives, if he becomes a new man, then I won't be alone. Ever again...

I hear Dumbledore. When did he get here? Doesn't matter, he's fighting Voldemort, they don't need me anymore...

**Duh duh duh dummm.**

**Duh duh duh dummm.**

What? Something in my head... it sounds like...

Drums. The Master.

**Duh duh duh dummm.**

**Duh duh duh dummm.**

He's standing up. He's using the psionic science, renewing himself...

The others can sense it. I look at Harry, and he's holding his head in his hands, Hermione's rubbing her head, as if in pain, and they're all staring at the man who should be dead.

He stands to his feet, straight as a Cyberman, and says one thing... just one thing...

"The Master... reborn!"

* * *

**The Master.**

I'm burning, glowing, dying, living, a thousand things at once...

And the pain of it... it's been far too long since I've done this, it feels wrong, almost...

Someones screamoing, and then I realise... it's me...

And then it ends, and the new me is satanding there...

New body, new personality, new voice... I'm about to test that out now on the man who killed me...

"Hello, I'm the Master, the bloke you've just tried to kill. Hope you enjoyed life, 'cos it's about to end!"

He stares at me. Voldemort. I read up on him. Second rater. Amatuer.

"What magic is this? How can you survive the Avada Kedavra?" he asks, his confusion evident. The Doctor and 'co are now standing, watching, and though the Doctor's free to move, the others aren't. I've made sure of that. I don't want the apes interfering.

"I'm a Time Lord. Death is an irritation at worst for us."

I'm being lyrical, obviously, and I have a blinding headache, but he doesn't know that. Acting is half the fun of being an evil genius.

He's trying to get into my mind, though. I can feel him. 'Legimency', it's called.

He wants in, he'll get in. I decide to scare him, just a bit. I show him the Cruciform, the Daleks taking it. I show him true power. The sort he thinks he wants...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The scream pierces me. I hate it when they over react. So bloody pointless.

He vanishes, using some sort of magic to teleport himself... I can't remember what that was called.

I turn to the Doctor.

"These humans have no imagination. I show him a little power, and he runs off. Really."

* * *

**Harry Potter.**

I was still, like it was the most natural thing in the world to not move, to not think, to be barely breathing... what?

The guy... the guy in Yana's clothes... Yana, he was... burning... changing... is that him?

He scared Voldemort off?

Nothing scares Voldemort that I know of, except maybe Dumbledore.

"Who are you?" I ask, my questions needing to be answered. I'll work under the assumption that he's the same bloke. "The Doctor was fighting Yana, then he was hugging him, then he died, then he stiod up, and your here, and Voldemorts goine, and now I'm all confused..."

He stares at me, and suddenly I'm captivated by those eyes. Like...

"I am the Master. You do not need to know any more then that."

* * *

**Hermione Granger.**

What's going on? I was watching Yana... he died, but he... he got up... he... burned...

Then I was still... something was stopping me from moving...

And - who's that in Yana's clothes?

He's staring at Harry, speaking, and Harry's standing still, and then he turns to the rest of us.

"I'm afraid to say, me and the Doctor have unfinished business!" he calls out. "Would you all go away, somewhere?"

His voice sounds so right...

* * *

**Ron Weasley.**

His voice sounds so right...

* * *

**Sirius Black.**

His voice sounds so right...

* * *

**Lucius Malfoy.**

His voice sounds so right...

* * *

**The Doctor.**

He's got them all going away, even Dumbledore. He always was hypnotic.

"So now what?" I ask. "Are we friends or foes?"

He simply smiles, his new face younger, sort of like my old Ninth incarnation...

"Foes, like we've always been Doctor, but neither ever ending the other. A war across the stars, 'til the end of time, or the end of you. Whichever comes first."

He puts his hand in his pocket, and pulls out a screwdriver. A sonic screwdriver? Hardly his style...

"Laser screwdriver," he says, answering my unspoken question. "Who'd take sonic? I built after I was ressurected."

"Who ressurected you?"

He smiles even more. That could get annoying.

"That tale will have to wait. I have a date with the universe."

He presses a button, and a gold statue of - him, amazingly, materialises around him with a wheezing groaning...

Then it disappears.

I sigh. It's over. I've done what I needed to do. The TARDIS couldn't stand me being alone, so it brought me to where he was going to be, to await the _other_ last Time Lord.

I look to the door the others went through. Can I leave without saying goodbye? I must, I suppose. That's how I always do it. Same old life...

"Goodbye," I say.

I enter the TARDIS, set course for Oxyveguramosa to take my mind off things, and pull the lever.

* * *

**Harry Potter.**

I rush in - I hear the noise the TARDIS makes when it sets off. It's over by the time I get there, but then, just as I enter, he leaves.

Hermione and Ron are right behind me.

"He never even said goodbye..." she says, dissapointment on her face.

* * *

Three weeks later. 

Harry, Ron and Hermione heard the sound outside, and ran to get there in time. They would not miss this. They had waited - through all the kerfuffle, through Sirius getting a pardon, through it all...

The Doctor was back.

The TARDIS was standing right there, by Hagrids hut. And so was the Doctor, grinning, hands in pockets, blue suit, coat...

"Hello!" he called when they were close enough to hear him. "I thought you'd never get here!"

"Hello," said Harry, grinning.

"Hi, mate," said Ron.

"Hi," said Hermione, breathlessly.

He smiled.

"Well, I thought I'd pop back for three reasons," he said grandly. "First, Mr Potter!"

He threw Harry a whistle.

"That is a stattenheim summoner," said the Doctor, his voice going RP. "When you blow on that, the TARDIS will be drawn to your point in time and space. If ever you need me, just whistle."

He turned to Ron.

"Mr Weasley! A present for the next time Draco Malfoy gets out of hand."

He threw him a stink bomb.

"Azurian mark 2299," he said. "That will lock on to the target and spray him with the most unbeliveable smell you can imagine, which will only affect him. I already primed it to Malfoy DNA so it will go off next time you see him. Good luck, and tell Snape I gave it to you if he catches you."

He shuddered. He didn't like Snape at all.

And then he turned to Hermione.

"And you, Miss Granger. The only one who didn't laugh when I said I'd been outside the solar system. The one who twigged I wasn't a wizard. The only person who didn't boggle at the TARDIS. I have something special for you."

He drew a breath, as if steeling himself.

"D'you want to come with us?"

Hermione latched onto the last bit first, which was typical really.

"'Us'?"

The Doctor nodded inside, and the Master's voice called out.

"Hello, apes! I'm not here out of choice, before you even start."

The others turned a questioning look to the Doctor.

"Lot of water under the bridge since we met," he said. "Something to do with him becoming Prime Minister, and a heckuva lot of Spheres. An a year that never was."

He grinned.

"Anyway, you didn't answer my question, Hermione!" he said. "Do you want to travel in the TARDIS?"

She looked at the others.

"Er, can they?"

The Doctor shook his head.

"One person only. Having more than two people aboard as well as me makes everything irritating. I can have you back in ten seconds, though."

She looked at the TARDIS, then at Harry and Ron, then at the TARDIS.

And she ran inside.

"Magnificent" the Doctor exclaimed, and he shut the door on the two confused boys.

The TARDIS's lamp lit up, and the wheezing groaning started up, and the box vanished.

The two boys barely had time to register that Hermione was gone, before the TARDIS reappeared.

Hermione strolled out the door, followed by the Doctor. She was wearing her uniform still, but it was slightly shorter on her now.

"Bye, Koschei!" she called inside.

"My name is the Master!" came a yell from within. The voice was still the same - he hadn't changed.

The Doctor and Hermione shared a grin, and looked at the two boys.

"Like I said," the Doctor explained, "ten seconds!"

He got back in the TARDIS, and the box dematerialised.

"Hermione, what's going on?" asked Ron.

"Daleks, Cybermen, giant faces and not so giant secrets," said Hermione. "All the usual with the Doctor."

Harry looked up at the sky.

"D'you think he'll ever come back?" he asked at length, still a bit confused.

"Whenever we need him," replied Hermione, pointing to the Stattenheim Summoner. "Now boys, we've a lot of catching up to do. From my perspective, I haven't seen you for six months..."


End file.
